When Jesus raised Lazarus from the dead, we see two grief responses from his sisters, Martha and Mary. In both, Jesus met their emotions. It’s a reminder that He shares in truth and tears.

When King David penned the familiar words of Psalm 23, there's no doubt they came from a heart and soul that deeply knew God. "The Lord is my shepherd…even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death…surely goodness and mercy will follow me all the days of my life." These were things King David knew we were created to experience. God is present with us and loves us beyond words that we can ever express in return. 

But even in the deepest of his experiences with God, King David did not have a face to put on that love. More than 1,000 years later, God made that visible with a face and name. Jesus of Nazareth, King David's shepherd, is now incarnate.

A Friend of Jesus

Here's a sometimes overlooked fact about Jesus: Jesus had friends. 

We know He had disciples and followers, but how often do we think about Jesus having friends? These were people who could relax and share a meal with Him. These were people that He shared about His day and reflected on life and His journeys. 

In our text, John, the beloved disciple, gives an account of Jesus and His friendship with the sisters, Martha and Mary, and their brother, Lazarus. The background is simple and delightful. Jesus loved the three siblings and was particularly close to them. We can assume they shared many stories and experiences that we don't see in the recorded gospel. The text is a familiar story for many, but it provides a deep and rich understanding of who Jesus is. 

Earlier in the chapter, Martha and Mary sent word to Jesus about Lazarus, "The one you love so very much is sick." They didn't even have to say his name because they were so close that Jesus would know who it was. The shepherd knows his own, and He calls them by name. They don't urge Him to hurry. They only inform Jesus that Lazarus is sick. 

There is no doubt that there were assumptions and expectations about what they anticipated Jesus would do. However, for reasons that reflected Jesus' greater mission and purpose, but not if you're in crisis, Jesus delayed His arrival. Only after Jesus received a message that Lazarus had passed did He tell the disciples it was time to be with his friends in Bethany.

When Jesus Doesn't Arrive On Our Schedule

We have many detailed accounts of Jesus healing strangers, but why did He seemingly refuse to rush to the bedside of His beloved friend? It seems heartless, doesn't it?

But if anything has been made clear in God's word, God acts when God acts. Elsewhere in the Gospels, we see Jesus make decisions that are curious by our standards but later made sense when the disciples asked Him to explain Himself. This was one of those moments.  

We're told that His delayed arrival amounted to four days. Because of the Jewish belief that a soul remains present in the body for three days after death, this delay compounded the situation's intensity. After those three days, all hope for revival is gone. The village would be filled with grief as the anticipation for restoration of life diminished. 

John describes the different grief responses the two sisters had. 

1. Martha

   Martha knew Jesus was coming. With her eyes locked on the road, she waited outside the village for his arrival. Martha knew Jesus would appear.

2. Mary

   Mary was settled into their village home. With the windows covered, the professional mourners had gathered with her. The wailing sounds of grief literally and emotionally surrounded Mary. 

When Jesus appeared on the horizon, Martha rushed to Him. Pushing past the bystanders, she did not timidly engage Jesus. Instead, she held nothing back in her words to Jesus. Can you imagine what was going through her head?

Remember the last time we saw Martha in Scripture? She was in the kitchen, frustrated with Mary, who had abandoned her duties to sit at Jesus' feet. She hung on every word from the rabbi.

But somewhere along her journey, Matha experienced a renewal that had brought her newfound confidence and connection to Jesus. She was in friendship with Him and freed to be who she was with Him, especially in heartache. Martha knew He was the one they needed. Her confidence was evident, as was her disappointment. 

That happens when our hearts are broken apart, doesn't it? So think about this: What's more painful, the loss of a loved one and engaging with what seems to be a hopeless circumstance or that God has not shown up or doesn't appear to care at all? 

It's probably not one or the other, as it's likely both, but that's what we have here. 

Martha planted herself before Jesus, and grief overtook her. "Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died! I know whatever you ask from God, He will give you." 

This may sound like a rebuke, and Martha was finger-wagging, but this was no rebuke. Instead, it was likely something the sisters had discussed multiple times before He arrived. In those moments, there are many questions, frustrations, and great disappointments with Jesus. 

Martha had many questions, but she had not given up on Jesus. Instead, her words were an expression of faith. 

What Martha is really saying is: "Lord, I know how magnificent you are, and I know that if you had been here, this wouldn't have happened. I believe in you so much that I know that much is true." She poured herself out to Jesus with an open heart and complete honesty. When was the last time you did that? 

Nicholas Wolterstorff, philosopher and theologian penned these words after the tragic death of his young adult son and are captured in his classic book, Lament for a Son.

"How is faith to endure, O God, when you allow all this scraping and tearing on us? You have allowed rivers of blood to flow, mountains of suffering to pile up, sobs to become humanity's song--all without lifting a finger that we could see. You have allowed bonds of love beyond number to be painfully snapped. If you have not abandoned us, explain yourself. We strain to hear. But instead of hearing an answer, we catch sight of God himself scraped and torn. Through our tears, we see the tears of God."

Jesus Never Abandons Us

Against the pleas of Martha, Jesus answers her. "Your brother will rise again." 

"Yes, I know he will rise again in the resurrection at the last day," she responds. 

And then Jesus spoke words almost too familiar to us, so much so that we miss how life-changing and hope-giving they are.

"I am the resurrection and the life. The one who believes in me will live, even though they die, and whoever lives by believing in me will never die. Do you believe this?"

Friends, we know with our heads, but do we believe with our hearts? Jesus is asking her a head question that only has a heart answer. 

But let's be honest, those words are wonderful and irritating at first glance. Like Martha, we want Jesus to fix the unfixable and explain the unexplainable, and that's how He responds. His words don't seem to meet the moment how we would like them to, but Jesus is speaking the truth. 

Martha was right. A great day of resurrection is coming when all believers will rise from their graves. But here's the glorious news, Jesus is the arrival of that day. All the deep longings, answers to mysteries, and desires to be known and loved are standing right in front of her. She could reach out and touch what King David only imagined. 

What does it mean? 

The Messiah has come for Martha at that moment and you and me right now. It means there will never be one millisecond when you're out of God's eyesight or His long and caring reach. So the answer to what Martha was really asking was: "God loves you, and He loves your brother. He will not abandon his soul or yours; one day, he will be raised." 

As God's story moves forward, He does the same for you and me. He keeps us in an everlasting relationship with Him today, tomorrow, and all eternity. 

Jesus Shares Truth & Tears

With this exchange ringing in her ears, Martha runs to Mary. Before, she was the one that had given Jesus her full attention and devotion, but now, she's locked away in her grief in overwhelming darkness. Martha whispers in her sister's ear, "Mary, the teacher is here, and He wants to see you." 

Friends, those words, for many reasons, have always been breathtaking for me. I hope when you hear those words, they also draw your heart close to Jesus. 

Imagine the scene: Mary rushed to Jesus outside the village. Who else could she go to with her deep heartache and grief? Her face is red and stained by tears. Finally, her exhausted body collapses into Jesus' arms. Through weeping sobs, she greets Him in an identical greeting to her sister's. "If only you had been here." 

Isn't that where some of us are right now? We're right alongside both Martha and Mary. We get them. Jesus, if only… What's your "if only you?" 

But notice the difference in how Jesus responds to Mary. With Martha, Jesus offered words of both declaration and truth. For Mary, He is speechless and joins her in grief. John shares the unexpected, that when Jesus saw their suffering, He became angry and troubled. But if Jesus knew what was to come next, the ultimate resurrection of Lazarus, why was He weeping? Why didn't He say, "It's going to be fine." 

So, why was He mad? He was angry at the suffering and physical and emotional pain of those He loved deeply. He is furious with death. The words used to describe His anger are like that of a caged animal. 

Jesus wasn't only mad because He was thinking about Mary, Martha, and Lazarus. The thread of history within the story of God continues from that moment and centuries to us and even beyond. That was Jesus' response to the things we will and have faced in our lives. Jesus comes to share both truth and tears. We need Jesus to shepherd us in such moments because those are foundational truths of who He is. In Jesus, we get exactly what we need.  

Resurrection Is Messy 

When Jesus arrived at the tomb, He instructed them to roll away the stone that covered the tomb entrance. Martha protested, "Lord, He has been dead for four days."

This should make you smile. Martha had a clear vision of who Jesus was. What she's really saying is, "Jesus, as a reminder, it's going to be messy if you resurrect Lazarus." But friends, isn't that what resurrection is about? Taking that which is hopeless and dead and raising it to new creation. Resurrection will always be messy. 

Jesus ignored her protest and shouted so His words would be heard deep within the tomb. Then, finally, the dead man came out. His face was covered, and his hands and feet bound in grave cloths. We can only imagine the village's response as the funeral became a celebration feast. 

Resurrection and life are certain with Jesus present. Jesus, the shepherd incarnate, is always within reach and comes to us with truth and tears because He is with us today, tomorrow, and all eternity. 

TL;DR

1. An overlooked fact about Jesus: He had friends.

2. God acts when God acts.

3. We see Martha express to Jesus that if He had been there, Lazarus would not have died. Her words were not a rebuke, but an expression of faith.

4. We know Jesus with our hearts, but do we believe in our hearts? That can be difficult in times of grief.

5. There will never be one millisecond when you're out of God's eyesight or His long and caring reach.

6. Jesus comes to share both truth and tears.

Related Reading

Give it To God by Bro. Chris Carter

The Lord is My Shepherd Explained by Rev. Paul Lawler

What Did Jesus Say About Spiritual Blindness by Rev. Jacky Gatliff

About Christ Church Memphis
Christ Church Memphis is church in East Memphis, Tennessee. For more than 65 years, Christ Church has served the Memphis community. Every weekend, there are multiple worship opportunities including traditional, contemporary and blended services