Is it possible to retain your Christian formation while living in a social media world? How can you tell if you have an unhealthy relationship with social media? Keep reading to see our four practices to create a healthy social media presence.

Is Social Media Bad for Us?

The ever-present screen that lives in our pockets plays a massive role in our lives. Perhaps even more prominently than it may appear. To frame this, let's start with some stats.

1. From 2009 to 2017, symptoms of major depression grew in adults 18 to 25 by 63%. (Source)

2. People talk about themselves 30-40% of the time, but that number increases to 80% on social media. (Source)

3. In a study of undergraduate students, 89% reported having phantom vibrations of feeling like their phone was going off in their pocket even when their phone was not on them. (Source)

For a second, consider how you move about your day. Do you ever leave home without your phone anymore? Have you found yourself grabbing your phone and scrolling unconsciously only to stop and wonder how you got there? Technology is becoming a physical extension of our bodies.

From the aforementioned stats, the most direct connection is that our relation to depression, anxiety, and mental health, in general, has spiked as social media and technology have become more prevalent in our lives. The correlation is strong.

Yet, this increase in technology is a give and take. Technology is a fantastic example of humans expressing the Image of God in and through themselves. The Imago Dei ennobles and empowers our imagination and intellect. Our ability to create sophisticated solutions to real-world problems is an outworking of our calling in Genesis to use our God-given, inherent faculties to make the chaos of the world a garden. So it’s important to remember that good and beautiful things can emerge from technology generally and social media specifically. For example, think about the 2015 viral ALS awareness "Ice Bucket Challenge." That campaign raised more than $220 million for research and brought ALS awareness to the forefront of every social media platform and news outlet. 

However, like all good things, social media can become twisted and have adverse effects. In 2002, Catholic author Richard Gaillardetz wrote a prophetic essay called "Discovering God's Rhythms." As I was prepping for this topic, I began reading his essay and was amazed at his insight into our current culture. He was very alarmed by our media-technology world. I was nearly finished with the essay before I realized the article was two decades old. It was frightening. 

He claimed that we live in a device paradigm world, meaning that people view the function of modern technology as being solely a means to an end. Technology exists to simplify and ease the burden of obtaining goods. Technology makes such goods "instantaneous, ubiquitous, safe, and easy." You may be thinking that that sounds great! Who wouldn’t want that? But the devil is in the details. 

In his essay, Gaillardetz goes on to distinguish between tools and devices. You use a tool in the process, but it doesn't do the thing for you. An example of this is a wrench. It's part of the process to help you fix your sink or build a piece of furniture. But it does not complete the job for you. You can’t turn your wrench on and then leave it to do the work. You have to turn the wrench.

On the other hand, a device requires no discipline, training, skills, or engagement in the process. Yet, despite all that, it gives you the result without any work. 

An example of a device would be a bread-baking machine. If you wanted to make bread before the dawn of the device, you'd have to spend hours creating the loaf. You'd have to follow the art and do the science. It took a lot of effort, time, patience, and skill. But a bread-baking machine (the device) makes it for you. 

The device cuts out the spiritual formation that is intrinsic to the process and gives you the result without any of the actual formations of your soul. 

How does that relate to social media? Social media provides us with the illusion of all the good things about the "real world" like community, friendship, travel, and experiences without any actual work of traveling to see someone or going through the hardship of being in a real relationship. So it gives you all of the good, without the substance. 

We can't escape that world, though. Technology, and even social media, have become integral parts of our world. As Christians, how can we be in this device and social media world but not of it and not have it sacrifice our spiritual formation? To answer that, let's first identify how social media affects our spiritual formation. 

What are some red flags that your social media use may be unhealthy?

1) Choosing the Wrong Story

We are narrative beings, and God is the author. He's the author of our salvation, and He's writing the greatest story ever—from creation, fall, and redemption to the new creation. Jesus is the Word, and we were made for the Word. That means that part of our existential identity is narrative. There's a reason why advertisements aren't just facts; they're almost always a story. Narrative compels us. 

Media, specifically social media, presents many different stories that allow us to choose the story we want to become. Stories are the most powerful medium in the universe, and we become the stories we consume.

What stories are you consuming? What does your social media feed communicate about the identity you are trying to assume? Who are you trying to become when you watch Instagram stories, scroll the endless stream, or subscribe to new content? God is the author, but He isn’t the only one. The world, flesh, and the devil are best sellers too.

2) Building a False Avatar

The media universe pleads for form and order, and it capitalizes off of our Imago Dei. Social media, in essence, allows us to play God, in that we make tiny images of ourselves and work for the fluorishing of that shadowy, formless, and chaotic digital world. It is creation on our terms in our image.

The problem is that we can fall into the Tower of Babel temptation to “make a name for ourselves” because building these images and virtual towers can create significant inroads to vanity. When your goal is to create this kind of avatar or image of yourself, it ultimately leads to confusion and chaos. It's no wonder why mental health is rising. There's a reason why people get so angry with each other. It's a manifestation of the Tower of Babel again—confusion, separation, enmity. 

It doesn't matter who we are, we all have an inherent desire to be seen and to be known. And that is not a bad thing. It is very good. Your desire reveals your design, and you are made to be known by God and by His family, the Church. But that desire is liable to corruption. Augustine said sin is misplaced love and having our desires fulfilled inordinately. So when we see an influencer’s very public recognition and all the adoration they receive, it can be tempting to desire that, and change our behavior to have that. But as Augustine also said, “You have made us for yourself O Lord & our heart is restless until it rests in you.”

The reality is, God has already told us and shown us through the cross that He loves us and that He knows us, intimately and adoringly. We are His beloved. Our hearts will be restless if we settle short of His great love.

Remember, we're made in the image of God. We don’t have to recreate a new and unique version of ourselves. When our identity becomes an avatar we have abandoned our true identity. That's not to say you can't find individuality in your own personality, but we lose ourselves when we use social media to create a false version of ourselves.

3) A Constant Distraction

We live in a dog-eat-dog world. To society, you are only seen as the value of the work you accomplish. We've been conditioned to believe that unless you bring something to the table, you're not welcome.

Our lives force us to live hard and fast. This lifestyle does not lend itself to allowing times of intentional introspection. We do not allow ourselves time to be reminded of who we are and who God created us to be.

In the busyness of our lives, we look to social media to answer that question for us: "How can I justify myself today?" 

Rather than sitting in the sacred quietness where God speaks to and inspires us, it's so easy to grab our phones to fill the void. That quietness can be uncomfortable and revealing of things we might not want to hear from God. 

I believe it's true that a restless thumb means a restless heart. A scrolling finger means there's some uneasiness in your own heart. Asking yourself why you opened your phone is a good practice when we find ourselves frequently distracted by our devices.

Creating a Healthy Relationship with Social Media

As we've stated, social media is a part of our world and, in itself, is not inherently wrong. For some, the boundaries to keep you safe may mean complete abstinence from social media. There’s nothing wrong with that, and is, in fact, admirable. 

But for those who can safely participate, where does the Christian-life fit into your usage, and how can we steward technology to benefit us, others, and the Kingdom of God?

"Everything must be done so that the church may be built up." (1 Corinthians 14:26)

Social media can be a beautiful tool for you to connect with your community, encourage truth, and share the convictions of your heart. However, what we do on social media should be for the church's edification and for leading those around us further into their sanctification. It should be a supplement to life, not a substitute for life. Remember that you're not interacting with a robot or just some name or avatar. These are real people with real feelings, real hearts, real problems, real dreams, and God loves them (the same as He loves you).

Just like in our daily and spiritual lives, the question comes down to how do we create habits of formation? It requires resistance, not disengagement, from the social media world. Resistance requires focal practices, which is something where the desired good is central to the actual process itself.

Four Practices for a Healthy Social Media Presence

1) Keep the Sabbath

In addition to keeping the Sabbath each week for worship and rest, take a Sabbath away from your phone and social media. Because we’re unlikely to walk away from our society completely like a monk, we need to learn healthy boundaries with the things most prevalent in our lives. 

This practice to step away from all the busyness and noise leaves us with God, our loved ones, and nature. In this time, we should find rest through God's real creation, His real universe, and His goodness. This creates an opportunity for us to be recreated before returning to our week.

If you struggle with screen addiction, this practice won't be easy. But that could be the spiritual and personal formation God is pushing you towards. There are countless resources on breaking that addiction, but we’d like to recommend this article. Most importantly, remember that identifying the problem is a major first step (good job!), so start small and take it day by day. You got this!

2) Find Your Focal Practice

This will vary person-to-person, but you must find whatever your focal practice should be. Step away from the device paradigm, and pick up the tool. This can be a hobby like learning an instrument or practicing calligraphy. This can also take shape in a project that you find enjoyable. For example, some people take pleasure in yard work, so take on that weekend project and step outside to cultivate that garden or flower bed. 

Think of this as a part of the means to an end. For example, you must play an instrument to make a beautiful song. If you want a beautiful yard, you have to pull weeds, plant flowers, and tend to them. 

Everyone has something that delights their heart. However, the joy that comes from leaning into our God-given desires requires real work and discipline. It will require much to learn your instrument and plant your flowers, but the calluses earned will be reminders of the effort you put into your focal practice. As your hands harden, your soul softens, and God will form it.

As you go wholeheartedly into that pursuit, let that be the thing that you share on social media. 

3) Quick to Listen & Slow to Anger

Another habit of resistance is to do what James said, be quick to listen, and slow to anger. When it comes to social media, it's too easy to react. Before you realize it, you’re blinded by rage and you've blasted off 500 disgruntled words that gnaws at your heart in dissatisfaction and regret.

If you read something incendiary, take a pause, put the phone down, go for a walk, and then come back and reassess. A good filter before you post is to ask yourself, what's your angle? This question forces us to check ourselves before going into something that could be divisive. But after an honest self-reflection, if you realize that you're responding to spark confrontation, that's unhealthy. Edification is the goal. Sometimes confrontation and conviction are good and necessary things to share, but rarely is social media the best place for that. 

Person-to-person, face-to-face interaction is one of the most important aspects to being human. Sharing a meal, getting coffee together, and going for a hike are all shared experiences that allow for honest engagement. We need to realize that social media is a tool that pushes us towards each other; it is not life.

4) Wake Up to God's Grace

Lastly, don't let your phone be the first thing you look at in the morning. The studies are out, and they are all conclusive that that's bad for our brains. Rather than scrolling for so long that you end up late for work; try to spend that time in prayer, Scripture, or meditation with God. Like Dietrich Bonhoeffer said, "Let the first word of the day be Gods and let the first breath of the day be God's."

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About Christ Church Memphis
Christ Church Memphis is church in East Memphis, Tennessee. For more than 65 years, Christ Church has served the Memphis community. Every weekend, there are multiple worship opportunities including traditional, contemporary and blended services.