Love in Action: What Jesus’ Commands Mean for Us
What does it mean to love extravagantly? Discover how Christ's example challenges us to bear fruit through sacrificial love, abiding in Him, and stepping outside our comfort zones.
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8 By this my Father is glorified, that you bear much fruit and so prove to be my disciples. 9 As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Abide in my love. 10 If you keep my commandments, you will abide in my love, just as I have kept my Father's commandments and abide in his love. 11 These things I have spoken to you, that my joy may be in you, and that your joy may be full.
12 “This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. 13 Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends. 14 You are my friends if you do what I command you. 15 No longer do I call you servants,[a] for the servant does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all that I have heard from my Father I have made known to you. 16 You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you that you should go and bear fruit and that your fruit should abide, so that whatever you ask the Father in my name, he may give it to you. 17 These things I command you, so that you will love one another.
What Does Loving Extravagantly Look Like?
The word “extravagantly” is a loaded word, but we intentionally included it in our Vision Statement. The purpose of using the word “extravagantly” is to exceed reasonable bounds, lavish, and lacking in moderation. In Scripture, the word “extravagant” is used to describe love. Look at how Jesus shared this pattern:
JESUS: “By this, my Father is glorified, that you bear much fruit and so prove to be my disciples. As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Abide in my love.” John 15:8
This is a part of the proof that we are a disciple of Christ. As a Christian, it’s God’s will that your life bears fruit, which means living out the desired will of God. Jesus shared that a fruit-bearing life is only fed by abiding in His love. You will always find fruitful Christians where Christians are abiding in Jesus.
Love, joy, and peace are the first three “fruits of the Spirit” named in Galatians 5:22-23. Our abiding in Christ produces fruit. In John 15, Jesus uses two Greek words for love:
Agape: ἀγαπάω (agapaō): This verb refers to unconditional, selfless, sacrificial love. It is used when Jesus speaks of His love for the disciples and the love they should have for one another. We see this exemplified in John 15:9 when Jesus shared, “Just as the Father has loved (ἠγάπησέν, ēgapēsen) Me, I have also loved (ἠγάπησα, ēgapēsa) you; remain in My love.”
Phileo: φιλέω (phileō): This verb refers to affectionate, brotherly love (often seen in close friendships). This is exemplified in John 15:19 when Jesus shared, “If you were of the world, the world would love (ἐφίλει, ephilei) its own.”
Agape (ἀγαπάω (agapaō)) is used when Jesus talks about sacrificial, selfless, unconditional love. Phileo (φιλέω (phileō)) appears in reference to how the world loves its own, indicating a different, more conditional type of love, such as “you pat my back, I’ll pat yours.”
Now that we’ve established the type of love Christ described, let’s explore what it means to love extravagantly through abiding in Christ.
1) Compelled Beyond Our Comfort Zones
JESUS: “If you keep my commandments, you will abide in my love, just as I have kept my Father’s commandments and abide in his love. These things I have spoken to you, that my joy may be in you, and that your joy may be full.” John 15:10-11
Love is not always easy. Sometimes, it can be difficult to love someone. As God describes in Scripture, love is more a choice than a feeling. True love is an act of the will. The proof of our love is not in our feelings but in our actions. Let’s be clear: we’re not dismissing our feelings because they have their place; however, true love is always rooted in actions.
Reviewing our verse, we see clearly why Jesus shared the reason to follow His commands: “These things I have spoken to you, that my joy may be in you, and that your joy may be full” (John 15:11).
Love does the hard thing, and this is why Jesus said things like “blessed is the peacemaker” (Matthew 5:9). He didn’t say “blessed is the peacekeepers” because peacekeeping is a false peace. Peacemaking embraces the pain that’s necessary to create true peace. A peacemaker will do the difficult thing predicated upon what Jesus and Scripture instruct us to do relationally. That can be hard to do on the front end, but it brings a more authentic and enduring peace than peacekeeping.
Love will do the right thing, which is often the hardest thing, for the sake of the real thing. When we’re unforgiving toward one another, we’re not only ignoring Jesus’ commands to forgive one another, but we’re not blessing or loving one another. That’s why Jesus taught that there is a relationship between the love of God and the commands of God.
When we resist Jesus’ words and commands, we’re no different than Adam and Eve in the Garden. They desired control, which is how they were enticed to reject God’s command. When we grasp being “in control,” the reality is we’re actually being controlled. Your fears are now dictating your actions rather than trusting God. This kind of livelihood is a fear of the “what if?”. It will control the way we think outcomes will play out rather than trusting God in the circumstance.
When you’re coming out of surgery and off of anesthesia, it can be disorienting. When you wake up, you’re trying to determine what happened and where you are, and a stranger whispers, “Everything is okay. You just had surgery, and you’re doing great.”
A recovery of extravagant love is much like coming off the anesthesia of a fallen world and entering the recovery of Jesus in our lives. The words of Jesus and the words of Scripture start to come alive! Some of it can initially feel disorienting because you start to care about people. Forgiving people matters! You want people to know Jesus – locally, in our nation, and worldwide. You want to love people and see people love one another.
This extravagant love of Jesus compels us to move beyond our comfort zones. The key to recovering extravagant love is not as much a thing to be grasped but a Person to know.
2) Commanded to Love
“This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you.” John 15:12
Can true love be commanded? This verse tells us that it’s a choice.
While driving home to have dinner with my wife recently, I listened to a podcast about being fully present with people. Yet, when we sat down to eat, she began to tell me about her day, and I had to ask her to repeat herself because my mind had drifted. It’s possible to listen to a truth but not consciously integrate it into your life. If we’re being commanded to love, we’re being offered the choice and ability to choose to love.
Christianity is about our transformation, transcending our weaknesses and vulnerabilities because of our fallen nature, personality type, and experiences. We don’t get a pass because of:
Enneagram
Myers Briggs
DISC Profile.
“I’m introverted.”
“I’m ADD.”
“That’s just how I am.”
“If you knew the family I grew up in…”
We can pick and choose parts of Scripture that fit our personality type, yet Christianity is about transformation. No Christian gets a pass because of their personality type, experience, family upbringing, or vocation.
The only description of love magnified in the Bible is so extravagant that it sacrifices. Even something like cleaning up one’s vocabulary from profanities for the sake of how we relate to others because Jesus sacrificed for us falls into this category. Jesus’ command is simple, “love one another as I have loved you.” We only have to look to Christ’s example for our transformation.
3) Develops Friendship with Jesus
“You are my friends if you do what I command you. No longer do I call you servants, for the servant does not know what his master is doing, but I have called you friends, for all that I have heard from my Father I have made known to you.” John 15:14-15
How do we balance that verse about friendship with Jesus when, in other places, we read Jesus speak about being a servant (and He even models it)? How do we reconcile the Apostle Paul repeatedly shared about being servants of Christ, yet in Jesus’ own words, He calls us a friend?
We don’t have an adequate English word for “friend” in this context. The Greek word used meant “a friend of the court.” It describes the “inner circle” around a king or emperor. The “friends of the king” would be close to him and know his secrets, but they would also be subject to him and have to obey his commands. There is thus no conflict between being a friend and being a servant.
Abraham was a friend of God, but Abraham was also a servant of God. You aren’t designed for Jesus to merely be an acquaintance. Jesus laid down His life for both His friends and enemies. This is why Dr. Oswald Sanders shared, “Each of us is as close to God as we choose to be.” It’s a choice, and the extravagant, abiding love of Jesus develops a friendship with Jesus.
4) Fuels Our Prayer Lives
JESUS: “You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you that you should go and bear fruit and that your fruit should abide, so that whatever you ask the Father in my name, he may give it to you. These things I command you, so that you will love one another.” John 15:16-17
Do you want to have your prayers answered? Do you want to have an empowered prayer life?
Then don’t miss the connection Jesus makes here: “I chose you and appointed you that you should go and bear fruit.” Feed your faith so you can put your feet to your faith.
Let’s establish that this isn’t referring to your buddies. Extravagant love/agape love is not measured by loving people like you. When you’re burdened in prayer for a loved one or something heavy on your heart, it’s not just about what God’s doing in the subject of your prayer, but what God’s doing in you; All of it is sacred.
How is God calling you to go beyond your immediate circle and to a:
Neighbor.
Work associate.
Family member.
Church member.
Unreached people group.
The poor or marginalized in our city or nation.
In Luke 6:32, Jesus shared: “If you love those who love you, what benefit is that to you? For even sinners love those who love them.” The artist Fleetwood Mac has a song that shares, “You can go your way,” but look at what Jesus shared: you do so at your own peril. That may seem like strong language. However, see what Jesus said: “They will know you are mine by the way you love one another (John 13:35).
The New Testament describes a believer who cannot manifest sacrificial as an irritant (1 Corinthians 13). Look at how love is described in comparison:
“Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth.” 1 Corinthians 13:4-6
People often say things like, “I’m praying for patience.” That’s fine, and you can pray that, however, there’s an easier pathway, which is by becoming intimate with Jesus. It’s from that intimacy that patience flows as a fruit.
As a follower of Jesus, you’re not loving others to get something back from them, which is just another form of manipulation. Instead, you’re loving because it’s the nature of Christ in you.
Love isn’t static; it’s perpetual motion. Love doesn’t just play defense in the way we might respond to others; love plays offense. That’s why you see “one another’s” mentioned more than 50 times in the New Testament.
Love one another. (John 13:34-35, 1 John 4:7)
Forgive one another. (Ephesians 4:32, Colossians 3:13)
Encourage one another. (1 Thessalonians 5:11, Hebrews 3:13)
Spur one another on to good works. (Hebrews 10:24)
Build one another up in love. (Ephesians 4:16, 1 Thessalonians 5:11)
Honor one another. (Romans 12:10)
Greet one another. (Romans 16:16, 1 Peter 5:14)
Welcome one another. (Romans 15:7, Hebrews 13:2)
Bear with one another. (Colossians 3:13, Ephesians 4:2)
Comfort one another. (2 Corinthians 1:3-4, 1 Thessalonians 4:18)
Make your love a verb because that’s what agape is.
You may read those verses and think, “That’s a little over the top,” but isn’t that the point of extravagance? Isn’t that the spirit in which Christ died for you? Leaving the comfort of His domain so that while we were sinners, He could demonstrate extravagant love for us! In John 15:13, Jesus shared, “Greater love has no one other than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends.”
There’s nothing more extravagant than God’s love manifested in Jesus laying His life down for His friends so that our sins would be forgiven and we could be reconciled to a loving, extravagant God for the glory of God. By the grace of God and the empowerment of the Holy Spirit, we want to individually and corporately be a gospel-centered community that magnifies Jesus as we worship passionately, and we pray that God would equip us to love extravagantly.
TL;DR
Loving extravagantly involves embodying the sacrificial and unconditional love that Christ demonstrated.
It is not based on fleeting emotions but on deliberate actions rooted in abiding in Jesus.
This love compels us to step beyond our comfort zones, even when it's difficult, as we strive to forgive, serve, and care for others as Christ commanded.
Through this process, we experience transformation, deepening our relationship with Jesus as both friend and Lord.
In turn, this abiding love empowers our prayer lives and enables us to bear lasting spiritual fruit in our lives and communities.
