Mary Was A Mom, Too
Motherhood is already one of the hardest jobs there is, but can you imagine the weight of being Mary, the mother of Jesus? But why was she hand-selected by God for this role? What can we learn about motherhood from Mary and how can we identify with her?
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“Near the cross of Jesus stood his mother, his mother’s sister, Mary the wife of Clopas, and Mary Magdalene.”
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“They all joined together constantly in prayer, along with the women and Mary the mother of Jesus, and with his brothers.”
The Tension of Motherhood
Mothers are to be celebrated, and there are vary definitions of the term “mother.” Whether it be a more traditional definition of the word in relational form of birthing, adopting and/or raising a child, to a woman who assumes a spiritual or emotional role through friendship, mentorship or leadership.
There is a stark reality of how complex relationships with our mothers can be. It's not always a physical distance that separates us from our mothers, but emotional baggage and personal differences. Things like unresolved misunderstandings, unforgiveness, and bitterness. At some point, even death can separate us from our mothers, leaving complexities left undone.
Mothers can produce so many different feelings because, for some, they are a wonderful source of joy, compassion, and celebration, while for others, they can be a source of pain, unfulfilled longings, and grief. Although we want to celebrate our mothers, the relationship can be a source of mixed feelings. It's not one size fits all.
Motherhood is simultaneously the greatest and the hardest thing. The job is backbreaking, heart-wrenching and anxiety-producing. It can bring out the best and the worst in women. The enormous pressures of motherhood can turn even the most delightful women into irritable and angry moms.
Perhaps the most challenging thing is not that mothers are always on duty, but the internal struggle that their role requires of them. As I was preparing to write this, I had swelling waves of compassion for everything we unintentionally (and unfortunately, sometimes intentionally!) put our mothers through. While we were just trying to grow up, we can't comprehend the responsibility, calling, and pressure there is to juggle the hats mothers are required to wear. It's not an easy job.
Mothers deserve more than some flowers on Mother's Day. They need more than a weekly phone call and an occasional visit. They need real and regular encouragement. We need to love our mothers, and I'll tell you why: I have never met a woman that felt like she was doing a good enough job. That included Mary, the mother of Jesus.
Imagine the Responsibility: Mary, Mother of God
Mary is often idealized and even idolized within branches of the Christian church. Understandably so, too, because she was the mother of Jesus. For her to be hand-selected by God to carry and raise His son, there must've been something extraordinary about her.
What Made Mary Special?
1) A Godly Woman
Luke writes that God sent the angel Gabriel to tell Mary that she was highly favored and that the Lord was with her. God saw something of Himself in Mary. It wasn't her social standing nor her prominence in the community. Joseph and Mary were not well-off, but they were rich in God. Abraham Lincoln once said, "No one is poor who had a godly mother."
Scripture says that, "She treasured every moment with Jesus and every memory of Jesus, keeping them and Him close to her heart." Mary was Jesus' very own mother. She loved Him so much that Jesus could see Himself in her heart.
2) A Humble Woman
Mary expressed humility in her selection. She said, "My soul glorifies the Lord, and my spirit rejoices in God my Savior, for He has been mindful of the humble state of His servant…for the Mighty One has done great things for me."
Mary was very aware of her role, and we'll see shortly that she did not take it lightly.
3) A Tough Woman
Mary walked from Nazareth to Bethlehem, some 90 miles, while nine months pregnant. Often it is depicted that she rode a donkey, but nowhere in Scripture does it say that. And once they arrived, there was no room for them in the Inn. So she laid down in the manger and gave birth without the convenience of medical assistance.
There is a strength and perseverance about mothers that men know nothing of. Betty White once said, "It's not easy being a mother. But, if it were easy, fathers would do it!"
4) A Tender Woman
There's a reason we idealize and even move into idolizing Mary, but when we make her into some Wonder Woman, we overlook her humanity. We hurt women when we idealize images of motherhood. It casts unfair expectations of roles and overshadows our own struggles and need for a savior.
Throughout Scripture, we see Mary experience real struggles that came with being a human being. She knew her own need for a Savior. She's birthed in Christ, but she needed a savior.
Motherhood Like Mary
Although Mary was hand-selected by God, she was still human. She struggled with the same things mothers experience today. Mary hungered, thirsted, feared, and loved. We can draw parallels to our roles as parents and find encouragement in her story.
1) Mary Experienced Fear
Imagine what it was like to learn she was pregnant? She was still a virgin and engaged to a man, only to be informed by an angel that she was pregnant. She was the source of great ridicule in her town—suspicious glances and great drama and trauma. The town had penned a scarlet letter to her chest. God had never shown up like this before. Even Mary and Joseph had struggles understanding what was happening, so imagine what it looked like to the townspeople!
Mary faced rejection from her peers, family, and her fiancé. Had Joseph decided to, he could've had her face the death penalty for adultery. Scripture says that Mary was troubled and struggled with fear, and understandably so!
It's not a reach to say that many moms are struggling and troubled. They're overwhelmed by the task of childbirth and raising their children. Aside from keeping them safe from danger, mothers desire their children to grow into not only upstanding citizens, but loving and tender children of God.
God didn’t leave Mary with impossible task. He sent encouraging voices right into Mary's fears.
Gabriel: God's first messenger of hope was the angel Gabriel who said, "Do not be afraid." Not only did he speak to Mary's heart, but he also visited Joseph and reassured him with truth so that they could be one in agreement, no matter what was said about them.
Elizabeth: Mary's cousin, Elizabeth, shared a word of encouragement when she visited with a child in her womb too. Scripture says that the child leaped in her womb when it heard Mary speak. Elizabeth greets her with, "Blessed are you among women and blessed is the child you bear! But Why am I so favored, that the mother of my Lord should come to me?" (Luke 1:39-45)
The Shepherds: These men were likely uneducated and poor. They were likely low on hope from the isolation and reputation of their jobs. After being informed by Gabriel of the Good News, they were in search of the baby. The Shepherds told Mary, "This baby you're carrying is for the good of all men, and all people will be saved because of Him."
Simeon: A devout and righteous man, Simeon had long awaited the arrival of the Messiah. He held Jesus on the day of His consecration, and when Simeon dedicated Him, Simeon said, "My eyes have seen the salvation of the Lord."
Scripture says that Mary treasured these encouragements in her heart. So even when the outside world tells us we're crazy, when God's encouragement has reaffirmed us, we can have peace and verification from our fears.
2) Mary Experienced Frustration
When Jesus was 12, the family was returning to Nazareth from Jerusalem for the Passover Feast when they realized they had lost Him a full day after leaving. Can you imagine losing the Son of God? So Mary and Joseph returned to Jerusalem, and it took three full days to find Jesus.
As a parent, you can imagine the frustration Mary must've felt? We can infer from Scripture that she was likely ready to wring his neck. She said, "Son, why have you mistreated us? Your father and I have been anxiously searching for you."
As a parent, it's moments like these where you don't know whether to slug or hug them. But Mary felt mistreated at that moment. She was hurt by what appeared to be the carelessness and selfishness of Jesus.
However, He was puzzled and said, "Didn't you know I had to be about my Father's business?"
Mary also dealt with the frustration of taking second place in Jesus' life. Once, when she arrived at the house where Jesus was teaching, the crowd was so large that she had to stand outside waiting to speak with Him. We don't see her elbowing her way toward her son or using her influence or persuasion skills, but learning to wait patiently and quietly as His ministry unfolded.
We feel Mary's tension. She had to let go of what she treasured so much in her son, Jesus, so that He could fulfill God's mission. It's hard to let go of any season of our kids' lives, isn't it? So you see the tension and the complexity of growing up and the moms having to let go.
3) Mary Experienced Pain & Suffering With Her Son
As Jesus' mother, she would suffer the intense personal pain of confusion and uncertainty, but mostly the horror of watching her Son's torture, crucifixion, and death. We see in Scripture that she was "near the cross of Jesus."
Motherhood carries a lot of joy, but it also has a lot of sorrow. It opens a mother up to pain, experiencing whatever her children experience, whether that's a scraped knee, feelings of heartbreak, or worse, a mother watching her child die. So in the moments of Jesus on the cross, Mary had to let go of her son and trust the Father with Him in that excruciating moment.
Only when we let go do, we learn that God understands our pain and shares, transforms, and comforts us through it. The pain that we give to God always brings resurrection. All parents know that it's not just the physical pain of childbirth but the pain of not being able to fix something that's broken. We're called to let go and trust God to make His way.
It wasn't only Mary who had to let go of her son, but some kids worry about their parents. Jesus was concerned about His mother while He hung on the cross. He looked down at John and told him to care for his mother. The Bible tells us that from that day forward, Mary, the mother of Jesus, lived in the house of John, and he took care of her.
You can't live very long without being faced with the option of controlling the impossible predicaments of your life or letting go and trusting the father with those you love. We're all in that, brothers and sisters. But the good news is when we let go, God always comes through resurrection for His children.
TL;DR
Motherhood is simultaneously the greatest and the hardest thing.
Although we want to celebrate our mothers, the relationship can be a source of mixed feelings. It's not one size fits all.
What can we learn about motherhood from Mary? Why was she hand-selected by God?
Godly
Humble
Tough
Tender
Despite being hand-selected by God, she was still human and struggled.
She experienced fear
She experienced frustration
She experienced pain and suffering with her son.
Only when we let go do, we learn that God understands our pain and shares, transforms, and comforts us through it.
The good news is when we let go, God always comes through resurrection for His children.
Related Reading
Four Reminders to Finding Courage by Bro. Chris Carter
The Memory in the Mirror by Rev. Jacky Gatliff
The Submissive Family by Brad Bogue
About Christ Church Memphis
Christ Church Memphis is church in East Memphis, Tennessee. For more than 65 years, Christ Church has served the Memphis community. Every weekend, there are multiple worship opportunities including traditional, contemporary and blended services
